Chris' Original Blogbeque

A fresh, vinegar-based examination of life

Spiritual Insights from Calvin & Hobbes

These trip me out, and sometimes, make a whole lot of sense too.

Revenge of the Babysat
Scientific Progress Goes Boink
Calvin and Hobbes
Yukon Ho!

Revenge of the Babysat
C: I’ve been wondering, though. Is it truly being good if the only reason I behave wel is so I can get more loot at Christmas?
I mean, really, all I’m doing is saying I can be bribed.
Is that good enough, or do I have to be good in my heart and spirit?
In other words, do I really have to be good or do I just have to act good?

H: I supposed in your case, Santa will have to take what he can get.

C: Ok… so exactly how good do you think I have to act? Really good, or just pretty good?

Scientific Progress Goes Boink
Moe has been bullying Calvin
C: I don’t understand it, Hobbes. What makes some people so greedy and mean?

C: Why is it that some people don’t care what’s wrong and right? Why don’t people try to be nice to each other?

H: The problem with people is that they’re only human.
C: Well, you’re lucky you don’t have to be one.

C: I wonder why man was put on earth. What’s our purpose? Why are we here?

H: Tiger food.

Mom: What are you doing still in bed?! I’ve called youthree times! You’re going to miss the bus!

C: That’s the idea. I’m staying in bed until Christmas. I want tons of loot this year, and I figure my chjances of being good improve greatly if I don’t get up.

M: Disobeying your mother and missing the bus isn’t good. It’s bad.

C: That darn Santa has got me every way I turn.

Calvin has transformed his transmogrifier into a duplicator.
C: Ok Hobbes, press the button and duplicate me.
H: Are you sure this is such a good idea?

C: Brother! You doubting Thomases get in the way of more scientific advances with you stupid ethical questions! This is a brilliant idea! Hit the button, will ya?

H: I’d hate to be accused of inhibiting scientific progress… here you go.

Scientific progress goes “BOINK”?
C: It worked! It worked! I’m a genius!
(No you’re not, you liar! I invented this!)

Calvin and Hobbes
C: Do you believe in fate?

H: You mean, that our lives are predestined?

C: Yeah… that the things we do are inevitable.

H: What a scary thought!

C: I wonder where we go when we die.

H: Pittsburgh?

C: You mean if we’re good or if we’re bad?

C: Hobbes, what do you think happens to us when we die?

H: I think we play saxophone for an all-girl cabaret in New Orleans.

C: So you believe in Heaven?
H: Call it what you like.

C: Do you believe our destinies are controlled by the stars?

H: No, I think we can do whatever we want with our lives.

C: Not to hear Mom and Dad tell it.

(as they sled down a hill, dangerously)
C: I have a question.

Do you believe in life after death?

You know, reincarnation?

H: You just steer, okay? (covering eyes)

C: Too bad the world will be ending soon.
H: Beg your pardon?

C: Halley’s Comet. Comets are harbingers of doom.

H: No, they aren’t. That’s just superstition.
C: Really??

Guess I’d better write that book report.

H: Do you think there’s a God?

C: Well somebody’s out to get me.

Yukon Ho!
C: This whole Santa Claus thing just doesn’t make sense.

Why all the secrecy? Why all the mystery? If the guy exists, why doesn’t he ever show himself and prove it?

And if he doesn’t exist, what’s the meaning of all this?

H: I dunno… isn’t this a religious holiday?
C: Yeah, but actually, I’ve got the same questions about God.

Gosh, Hobbes, what if I don’t get any presents this year because I doubted the existence of Santa?

C: Well I’ve decided I do believe in Santa Claus, no matter how preposterous he sounds.

H: What convinced you?
C: A simple risk analysis.

I want presents. Lots of presents. Why risk not getting them over a matter of belief? Heck, I’ll believe anything they want.


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