Chris' Original Blogbeque

A fresh, vinegar-based examination of life

Running Diary of Saved by the Bell

Posted by Chris on July 16, 2008

For some reason, my body clock is being whack this week and I’m having a hard time sleeping to my alarm (which has been set 8 hours or less from my sleep time so I wanted to sleep until the alarm). Today, I awoke around 6:45. I’m still laying in bed but decided, maybe I’ll get up and just watch 30 minutes of uninterrupted TV with some cereal at 7:30, if there’s anything good on.

Well, it doesn’t surprise me that much that Saved by the Bell is coming on. I knew it used to be on at this time. What is kind of shocking is that it is on TWO different channels at 7:30. And it’s two really good episodes too- one is “Dancing to the Max”, aka the one where Lisa sprains her ankle and her and and Screech win doing “the sprain” dance. The other is “the gift”, where Screech is struck by lightning and I believe starts getting radio reception and predicting the future. Which to watch? I think I’ll go with the Dancing one because it’s one of the rare occasions on which Screech “gets the girl,” so to say, if I remember correctly.

A la Bill Simmons of ESPN’s Page 2, I will do a running diary to see just how I perceive the show after all these years.

7:30. My first complaint: the local FOX affiliate didn’t play the whole intro! No “when I wake up in the morning…” basically a fast-forwarded version of the end. How disappointing…

7:31. Slater is demonstrating to Kelly how he is a better dancer than Zack. He’s wearing an orange tank top tucked into gray sweatpants that looks like a leotard. Lisa is wearing a black jacket with a big daisy on the back- underneath is written “FLOWER POWER”.

7:32. Danny asks out Jessie. Zach overhears and turns to Camera 1: “Skip the dance and kiss all night? I could learn from Danny…”

7:33. First commercial break. The kids are all excited about the dance because Casey Kasom is coming! Is that guy still doing top 40 on Sunday mornings? How did he become so popular? I mean, the reaction his name got was as if you had told a group of middle school girls that Carson Daly was coming during his heyday as TRL host (did I just date myself?)

7:37. Band director: “Beautiful! Are you feeling what I’m feeling” Screech: “Yes, it was the fish sticks at lunch.”

7:38. I want a friend that I can call “Preppy.” I have a feeling my co-worker may hate my guts by the end of today.

7:38. Zack: “Jessie, I’m in big trouble.” Jessie: “Did you sell your parents’ house again?” Zack: “I can’t dance.” I can’t tell you how many times I’ve never come close to having that conversation. We are left with our first big cliffhanger– can Jessie teach Zack how to dance? Will he win Kelly in a dance-off with Slater, or will he watch them win the contest, their “names touching” on the trophy?

7:42. Casey Kasom is wearing an extremely busy sweater.  We have our first Mr. Belding sighting and his tongue is hanging clear out of his mouth.  He lets Casey knows that he is the “Big Bopper” around Bayside.  The actor who plays Belding makes a cameo on “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” as an old, overweight, retired gym teacher.  I saw that recently and I just couldn’t take it.

7:44. Screech is wearing a tux shirt and dancing with a doll to impress Lisa.  She already has a date for the dance.

7:45. Jessie shows Zack a step she “just invented.”  It’s like, not that original and stuff.  The stage is set for some magic between the two of them.  Jessie has a hilarious vision where every time a boy asks her to dance she grows another 6 inches, cowering over shorter boys who ask her to dance.  “Zack, you don’t know what it’s like to be a freak.”  “At least you’re the first person to know when it rains.”  Umm, I’m definitely not an expert in the ways of placating women, but even I wouldn’t have said that.

7:50. Dustin Diamond was a couple years behind the other actors.  You can really tell at this age, and especially when Screech is in the locker room with Slater in their gym clothes.  He is a waifish little boy.

7:51. Zack brings Jessie flowers from her front yard right before their last practice session.  She seems genuinely into him (of course, this looks like the same face she has on the movie poster for Striptease…)

7:52. Lisa’s date dumps her because he really wants to win the contest and can’t take the chance that her ankle will not heal in time.

7:53. Zack lets Slater have Kelly.  Zack wants Jessie for his partner.

7:54. They cut to the Max and the first person I see near the camera has a perfect mullet.  Remember, these are all supposed to be good-looking, popular kids.

7:55 They don’t show the prelims.  Only announce the finalists– first up is Slater and Kelly, “The Spandex Twins.” Number two, “The Powerhouse Preppies.”  Jessies looks like a Catholic schoolgirl who will later star in a movie about stripping.  They are being Slater on Max’s “Applause Meter.”

7:56.  Now, Screech and Lisa’s new dance, “The Sprain.”  Lisa’s dance stands the test of time better than everyone else’s because of the little step moves.  They win.

7:57. Casey Kasem starts doing The Sprain.  Except, as he starts, he holds his arms out like the Karate Kid doing the crane kick.  AWKWARD.

That’s it folks.  Time to brush my pearly whites.

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